MySpace et. al.

It all started with MySpace. A friend told me to sign up and we could share photos and other such delights of our technological age. Given that we both had incredibly cute babies that no one else cared to look at I agreed. At least I could see how mine is prettier, smarter, funnier etc. HAH! MySpace has turned into an addiction... a beast that has taken over my world and it's getting worse. Now there's Facebook and Friendster or for my European high school friends Hyves or Friends Reunited. You have got to be kidding me! (At this point in my blog adventure let me point out that when I blog, I excuse myself from all grammatical protocol, I have enough of that stuff when writing for real!)

Now of course I have to have a profile on all of these "networking" services, just in case maybe I know someone who is on one and not the other, which consequently I do! It has become an obsession searching for old friends or crushes or people I distantly admired. Not to reunite mind you, but to see what they are doing.

Once upon a time I was a bright young star, top of the class in high school, 1550 SAT, 34 ACT, member of MENSA (suppose I still could be, but can't be bothered to pay the dues) and starting out as a junior at Northwestern University straight from high school. I was going to be a doctor and save the world... SIGH. Fast forward four months into my freshman year, I was a depressed stoner eating myself into Jabba the Hut and maintaining an incredible GPA of 1.47! What the hell happened? I don't know... maybe one of my MySpace contacts who had their act together and stayed in school and is now getting their PhD in Psychology can explain it to me.

So then I "get my act together" and do a year at community college and decided that I've always been a good singer so I should go to music school. Easy enough... get a full ride to Eastman School of Music, despite the fact that I hate classical music, smoke a pack a day and am planning on studying voice somewhere that makes Siberia seem like Florida. Fast forward TWO WEEKS into my first year at Eastman and I have gone to one day of classes, fell in love with a pianist, moved in with him, and dropped out! Am I any parents nightmare or what? Now the good news is, this here pianist, is now my husband of almost five years and we have two beautiful daughters, I have lost 150lbs and am enjoying a new life in Ireland. The bad news is... well I guess there is no bad news other than what I feel are my own let downs.

To get around to my initial topic, MySpace et. al. are not helping me with my feelings of shortcoming. It seems everyone I used to know is highly successful... even the stupid people. A girl from high school who couldn't grasp Lord of the Flies is now a criminal attorney, my debate partner is a world famous businessman, an old crush is now a gourmet chef, many of my old friends are doctors or researchers or writers... contributing to society... and then there's me. I did have a high paying job in corporate performance management and accounting, but now I'm a stay-at-home Mom doing a bit of freelance writing on the side. I cringe to think of these people looking at my profiles and seeing this... when they knew me I was voted most likely to succeed and here I am... successful? I know many people would say yes, I am, I have a wonderful husband, beautiful children, a nice home and a loving family... what more could I want? But I want more... I want to give something to the world... I just can't figure out how.

MySpace is a great idea... but it can really make you wonder too... what if? What if I had worked hard at NU? What if I had stayed in music school? What if I had gone to university in Europe? I guess I wouldn't be where I am now and other than not being a doctor I don't really have any regrets... well other than signing up for MySpace and all those other bloodsuckers! I think they exist solely to make me feel stupid!

On a separate note, why don't they all combine... perhaps Google could buy them out... aahhh Google... I wish I could think of something like that!!! :-)

http://www.myspace.com/dewdropdeb
http://www.friendster.com/dewdropdeb

Note: If you see a Dewdropdeb online, it is probably me... in one of my various forms... same password too, but I won't tell you what that is...